Our Way Home to Bliss
Yesterday during a long drive home, I began noticing that my glands were swelling in my throat and I started to feel as though I was getting sick.
As I was driving, I was listening to a podcast by the freebirth society. Listening, I became so excited that I could feel my skin ripple with rushes of pleasure as it igniting within me the spark that fuelled my passion for midwifery as a young woman. I realised that I must have been having a massive oxytocin rush listening to these women share their amazing and powerful stories. This is the power they hold!
Oxytocin is known as the love hormone. It is produced in large amounts when a woman is making love, giving birth, breastfeeding and when women gather together in sacred circle. It is the chemical signature of our bliss, our sensuality, when we feel safe, held, connected, supported, intuitive and powerful.
I noticed that as I was having these rushes, that all of my symptoms of getting sick disappeared completely! SERIOUSLY! Gone! Wow! This was amazing to me but also not surprising! This energy of WOMAN, this power that is held within the energetic core of our being, brought alive through birth, through our sensuality, our sexuality, the life force within, is a force that is always accessible, always available when we connect with our divinity, our sacred feminine selves! It has the power to heal all wounds, all diseases, all heartache and pain. It is life force! It is always there but we so often forget or have shut off from this aspect of ourselves through our conditioning! It’s so beautiful to be reminded that we can inspire this remembrance in each other as women, igniting the oxytocin rush, simply through story telling or being around other women who are standing in their divine radiance! BOOM!
This morning I did not wake up with a cold. I feel radiant, blissful, beautiful, passionate, inspired! LIGHTS ON!
This is our birthright! Our true being, our natural state, untamed, unconditioned, Wild!
We are radiant by nature! We hold the force of creation in our being!
This is who I am! And this is who you are too behind all of the wounding, conditioning and stories.
This feels important to share!
I have been journeying with my own remembrance of bliss all throughout last year. This has been a big initiation for me, a powerful gift that I neither asked for nor expected. To be very clear, this is not about being ‘happy’ all the time, this is about connecting with the feminine force within, an orgasmic energy that is the true essence of our being. This remains when we are in pain, when we feel deep emotion of any kind, when we do the deep shadow work and when things are hard. It is found within, through an openness to expand into the WHOLE part of our being, understanding that all of it holds power and medicine! It is an awakening of one’s power, which lies in the vulnerability, in the experience of every moment, always opening to the experience.
At first when I began feeling my bliss continuously, everyday I thought that maybe there was something wrong with me. I thought that maybe I had a brain tumour or something. (This is how strong the conditioning is NOT to be in our bliss.)
Then I realised that I had just come home to myself. This bliss remained with me most of last year, even though I journeyed deeply into many of my discomforts and vulnerabilities. Then suddenly my bliss was gone! I thought, ‘well I guess it can’t last forever’ (hello conditioning) It was gone, as I was plummeted into a space of FEAR. Life pulled the rug out from under my feet and showed me the full force and implication of living in a CONTRACTED state of fear. My mind went into all of the places that held fear within my being. It was beyond all logic and all I could do was witness and surrender.
This was an unpleasant but important experience for me and this morning I realised why. Our bliss – our sensuality which connects us to our power, our divinity, our creativity our truth, is robbed by fear. We live in a paradigm that is fuelled by fear, a manifestation of ego consciousness, conveniently keeping us from our bliss and through this our power. This is also reflected in birth.
Birth is a right of passage into motherhood, an opportunity for a woman to feel her full power, divinity and radiance. When left alone to birth instinctually, undisturbed and with loving support, most women will have an experience that is intuitive, primal, empowering and ecstatic. However birth has been hijacked by a system of fear, where women are asked to surrender their intuition, power and trust to a stranger, in a place where they feel unsafe. It is no wonder that women are being traumatised by their birth experience rather than empowered by it. It is impossible to be in an instinctual, ecstatic, intuitive and blissful state during birth when the divine physiological hormonal matrix is over-run by Adrenalin, in other words fear.
But there is hope. One story of a natural, ecstatic undisturbed birth had the power to send me into oxytocin overdrive, connecting me with full force to my own bliss, my own sensuality, my true essence within. It’s power wove across time and space, igniting a fire within my being. Imagine if everyone listened to these stories. Imagine the possibilities that exist when women shine their radiance into the world for others to feel, giving them permission to find their own radiance. It’s contagious because it’s actually our NORMAL! And when we recognise it we remember it!
So what has become crystal clear to me through all of this, is the knowing that I will NEVER EVER put my energy into a paradigm or system that robs women of their bliss and their power. I had been contemplating returning to midwifery, as I love this work so so deeply. However being a midwife comes with all sorts of baggage these days and a marriage to the very system that supports this fear based paradigm. I simply can NEVER go back!
I don’t know where this leaves me as a birth worker, but I know that my work will always be supporting women on their quest to reclaim their bliss, their sensuality, their creativity, their intuition, their knowing and their power! My work lies in Birth, in menstruation, in sexuality, in menopause, in transformation of any kind where a return to the wild within is the journey! I choose to only put my energy into a paradigm that serves the healing of the wounded feminine, rather than perpetuating it, even with the best intentions.
I understand that no matter what our story or previous experience is, we can always come home to our bliss. Our woundings and our fears are the catalyst to guide us back home to this remembrance. We need to share our stories and remember that we are all a part of the collective wounding and collective healing. We have all had experiences that keep us in the fear based paradigm and so it is a choice each day and each moment which path we choose next. Each moment holds within it endless possibilities, our bliss just there waiting to be felt.
As I was contemplating my return to midwifery, my experience of fear showed me where my truth lay. I didn’t know it until yesterday during my drive home, but now I know that life was simply guiding me and showing me what I needed to know. There was always a part of me that was hesitant to let my midwifery registration go, but now I know! I can only ever put my energy into a paradigm that empowers woman, because the force of that power, has what it takes to heal the world!